I had an awesome day today. I was reminded how much God loves me. I had the incredible opportunity to spend some time talking with a friend and sharing in each other’s journey. One resounding theme that seemed to keep coming up in our discussion was self-acceptance. So, I thought I might share a few thoughts on it here.

Genesis tells me that we were all made in the image and likeness of God. If that’s the case, why can’t I grow a beard to save my life? ;)

I don’t believe the message here is that we are supposed to be some sort of genetic twin with God. I think (world according to Andy) that the message really is that God created me out of love, and it’s through this love that I can identify with Him. So this power to love, to love God, to love others, to LOVE OURSELVES, is really how I am like Him. Sometimes I forget that. I forget that God loved me so much he created me and that He sent His only Son to die for me. All for love.

So, if I am created in His image, then why do I struggle with self-acceptance. Why do I, like so many other people, rely sometimes on what others think and not necessarily on what I think or even better what God thinks? 

The struggle that I have with self-acceptance is realizing that it’s a journey, not a destination. I didn’t just wake up today and say “I love myself” and that’s that. Unfortunately, life has a way of beating us down, and I have to continue to walk that journey of self-acceptance. Some days it’s good, other days not so much. In any given moment, I am either accepting myself or rejecting myself. So, where do I start?

Step 1: I ask myself “Who is this self that I’m accepting? Do I really know who I am?” I am more than just my experiences or how other people see me or the clothes I wear, right? So, answering this question honestly is a huge first step in the journey. Self-acceptance teaches me that I’m not who I think I am. It shows me that the more I judge myself, the less I understand who I really am. So, as I begin the journey, I usually start with this question.

Step 2: I recognize that self-acceptance is love, and my capacity to love myself determines my capacity to love everyone else. The less I accept myself, the more I tend criticize my friends & family.

Step 3: Understand the distinction between self-acceptance and self-improvement. Big difference. Self-acceptance is the belief that I am innately good, lovable just as I am, and that I have god-given talents. Self-improvement on the other hand actually starts with the belief that there’s something lacking in me. 

Back in the day, during the time I struggled with my depression, I actually refused to love and accept myself. I would tell myself that I’m not handsome enough, rich enough, loved enough, lucky enough, successful enough or anything-else enough. No amount of time in the gym, reinventions or diets would do the trick. Deep down, I still felt like a nobody, but only because I was identifying with the self-image rather than with who I really am. I felt exiled from myself.

Step 4: Don’t exile yourself. Without self-acceptance, I feel exiled from myself, experiencing the world as an unfriendly universe. Life feels like hard work, a big struggle, with obstacles everywhere. 

Step 5: Realize that Self-acceptance is my home. It is where I return to find myself again. Accepting myself for who I really am helps me increase my overall trust in life. The more I accept myself, the more I trust that innate goodness and natural intuition.

I’ve found that the more I accept myself, the more I trust that life doesn’t just happen to me; it happens for me. 

Listen to the song below :)

Peace.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. Matthew 5:9

I find myself more often than not being a peacekeeper instead of a peacemaker, especially at home. Sometimes I like confrontation, but more often than not I try to avoid it, and try to “make the peace”. This week, I am going to try to embrace confrontation to make peace, and not try to avoid it. 

Thanks to Craig Groeschel for the inspiring words.

Peace!

Wow, what a question. This came across in txt this morning and totally took me by surprise. It also provoked in me a need to put some thoughts down here on my blog. To be honest with you, I don’t have a particularly good answer, even if there is such a thing, but I will do my best to frame the question through my own lens.

When I was…scratch that…When I am confronted with this question I really struggle with it. Mostly because I’m so focused on the moment. The emotional storm that’s raging inside me, that I can’t see beyond the tears. I can’t seem to remember that there’s something beyond me. I become withdrawn. I become only focused on me, and that’s where the problem starts. If all I know is my own anger and pain how can there be any hope. So what do I do? If I continue to focus on the past, how can I live my life?

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” ~ Helen Keller

Things That I do:

Step 1: Write. I keep a journal. Sometime I put my thoughts in this blog, but most times it’s just a private journal. There’s something very freeing about getting all of my thoughts on paper, and releasing some of that tension. It’s like purging the negativity.

Step 2: Forgive. I gotta say, I choke on that word everytime I say it, but I say it nonetheless. While forgiving others of the pain they caused me is difficult. Sometimes, the most difficult part is to forgive myself.

Step 3: Trust. Understanding that my past experience doesn’t mean I will continue to have negative experiences. I have to trust myself and in this journey.

Step 4: One Breath. Living in the present is huge, and exploring the present can sometimes really help me find ways of enjoying my life at the moment.

Step 5: Keep trucking. I try not to let the past dictate my future, so I keep walking. The past no longer exists, and by reflecting on it, I rob myself of the gifts that the present is offering me.

Step 6: Pray! This really is my step 1, but I wanted to save it for last because I think it’s so important. Again, this is the “world according to Andy” and this may not work for you, but I gotta tell you, praying is so important to my well being and my ability to find the want to live. Praying restores my hope. Praying helps me with all the other steps. When I focus on Jesus and God, I find the strength to forgive and to trust. Of course if you read my witness, you know that I give Jesus all of the credit, He truly saved my life. When I find myself asking this question again, I pray, and He reminds me of His love.

So, no real answers, just what helps me. I hope some of this is useful. Remember to never give up hope. You don’t know what’s around the corner and it could be something spectacular.

To my dear friend who asked the question, know that you are loved and that you are always in my thoughts and prayers.

Listen to the song below. Empty by Ray LaMontagne.

Peace. 

A story of a mother and a son and the sacrifice He made for all of us. Brings me to tears every time I watch it. Thank you Jesus for saving me.

Got this card in the mail yesterday. Made me smile!